havent updated for a very long time.. maybe its a good thing..

feeling very tired of late.. like cant get into the mood for anything.. reflected on my own life and just realised i have nothing to self. its like.. just being powerless and useless.. no living impression on ppl or anything.. im like just a second option to ppl.. it just sux to be one like that.. like nothing would have changed with or without my existence.. or rather just keep creating troubles.. i just wonder how everyone arnd me would be like without me.. im just like powerless like nuts.. noone takes me seriously.. aiyah and im like damn self-pitying.. just keep losing myself in computer games.. clinging on to fantasies.. escaping from pain.. im starting to wonder wad its like up there.. but dun even noe if i can qualify to go up there.. i just hate myself.. why am i so pathetic.. there's like nothing to work for.. no purpose or reason.. singing's the only reason for me but how long more can i hold on to it..? and thanks so much to politics.. got like a power-hungry side born inside.. like wtf. tts not me. wads it doing there.. or maybe its just me. wanting ppl to take me seriously.. haha.. yet im too cowardly to do anything for it.. just hiding in a hole waiting for opportunities to fall into it.. pathetic..

blindfolded, walkin down the road of life.. dunno where im going, just moving with the flow..