its such an irony to be blogging about such emo stuff with a snsd background LOL. and i guess ppl still visit my blog ><

but im tired out again.
kept thinking about us lately again
about how you got together so fast with him after me
i wished he was just an escape from your real feelings
just like how i was used previously
but he was there at your weakest point and probably gave you support
and it developed.
i guess you really made too many memories with me
that i cant forget it altogether
you were with him together studying today in the library for hours
i was so tempted actually to go up and say hi
coz i wanted to test your feelings for me still
but your SATS are tmr
i cant be that selfish right lols.
your future may depend on it
and who am i to distract you from achieving your potential?
besides, its already over.
get on with life.
just fucking get on and stop stagnating.
everybody's gone.

though i thought everything could stop mattering.
but dramas do have a funny way of wrenching out your longing
to love someone and be loved the same way
and all the beautiful ideal scenarios of love lasting through all difficulties
if only life was that perfect eh?
if only.
that i was not so stupidly immature
i hate myself.
when will i really grow up and become stronger
and become someone that ppl can rely on
and someone that ppl WILL rely on..?
its all too distant

xia yi zhan xing fu is a nice drama
but it's wrenching out a part of me that im trying to suppress too much
what should i do